Remembering ‘social niceties’ that ensure mutual respect and deference

At some stage in the future, lockdown will end. For months we will have been meeting, talking, and socialising with the images of people on screens. When we finally get to meet with them again, how will we cope?

Can we remember the ‘social niceties’ as we used the call them, the social conventions that ensure mutual respect and deference?

I thought it would be a good idea to share with you some of the social decorum or etiquette that we were expected to follow when we were younger (which is probably before you were born, dear reader). Yes, in such prose as these when addressing the reader they were often referred to as ‘dear’ or even ‘gentle reader’!) The following relate to ‘greetings’ in the 1960s. Some of these conventions are still applied by the ‘old school’!

• If a lady entered a room all the gentlemen were expecteed to stand. If a large room or hall, or in a large gathering it was understood that only those whom she approached would stand until she was seated.

• All gentlemen would stand to shake hands but the ladies would remain seated to do the same. (I believe this is still expected and correct behavior.)

• Unless they are a relative or long standing friend or aquaintence, no kissing is allowed. If the lady leaned forward for a peck then this could be offered or received, but this was unlikely.

• Anyone senior to us in years we would call ‘sir’ or ‘madam’, unless instructed by them to do otherwise. If respect needed to be emphasised then these could be used at any time.

• If you knew someone’s Christian name you would not use it unless invited to in an introduction. It would be Mr., Mrs, or Miss as appropriate. Again, Sir or Madam could be used if superiority is clear or even suspected.

• If passing someone you know, gentlemen should raise or touch the rim of their hats. If a lady then stops to engage them in conversation the hat should be removed until the lady moves on.
– there is a lovely story involving my Father. In the early sixties he was a civil servant working in the city of London, in Somerset House. The ‘uniform’ in the city was great-coat and black bowler hat. This hat was raised or the rim touched at all required moments. One day when returning home and almost at our garden gate, he met an acquaintance. He started to raise his hat. At the same moment, his acquaintance offered his hand for a handshake greeting which was also acceptable, but was a more familiar approach. Dad accepted this and so started to offer his hand in return. His friend had also realised the disparity and was starting to raise his bowler hat at the same time. My Mother relays this story as she was watching from the window and says that the greeting was attempted three times with hats being raised and hands offered alternately, until finally they gave up and just said hello.

• On ending the conversation, if with a lady, the hat was returned to the head and with a gentleman it was raised or the rim touched on parting.

That may seem very involved but that was the way we were taught to behave, the expected ‘norms’; and THAT was just for the greeting!

I am not suggesting we re-adopt these social expectations, this was just a bit of fun. But, we can be certain that when our ‘normal’ is returned we will feel very strange shaking hands with strangers or even standing right next to them in a meeting or gathering.

I used to give a talk called ‘Selling, Ballroom Dancing and Space Invaders’. The latter reference is to those who invade our personal space. I would not be surprised if our normal personal space has been extended due to ‘social distancing’.

Let’s hope we can soon return to ‘social nearness’, or for the brave, ‘social closeness’, and we can look forward to sharing time AND SPACE with everyone we wish.

Stay safe!

THE SHOW MUST GO ON

The Government is keen for business to continue so that when we are able to return to the ‘norm’ we can be better prepared.  Perhaps this is the best time to focus on personal and professional development within your business.  With good training, coaching or mentoring in sales, marketing and business development, you could use the time wisely by developing a more complete and successful approach to growing your business.

So, Salient is going Live-On-Line….

To help you follow social and health requirements I will now be offering my courses as either a live-link to allow full interaction, or as recorded modules for you to access at your convenience and as often as you need.  I have chosen Zoom as the most effective platform. I will use the ‘Entrance Lobby’ facility to ensure the sessions remain secure.

These courses will be offered at a lower cost than an attended course.

Also, as a special offer, when the crisis is over, I offer a ‘refresher day’ at a bargain price, when I will come to your offices and deliver a summary of the course and, where appropriate, run a workshop to cover aspects in which delegates still need assistance.

In this way, delegates will have the advantage of isolated learning, together with a final interaction session, when the dust settles.

All delegates for live sessions will be provided with a workbook.

Live sessions will include all aspects of the course when given on-site; flip chart, discussion, slides, exercises, discussion etc.

Assistance is offered on an individual basis (phone or email) at no cost for up to one month after the sessions.  Sessions last from one hour to one day and courses are available for 2 to 5 days duration, either consecutively or separated by up to 3 weeks.  Clearly, the longer the course, the greater the scope and depth we can cover, and the longer the new ideas and skills are likely to be retained.

Costs: with reduced overheads, the cost of Live-On-Line sessions will be signficantly less than those arranged for personal attendence (pre-and post-covid-19).

Salient has adapted and will continue to offer great value in all courses, programmes and sessions.  Expertise in sales, marketing and business development, designed and applied to your business.  Use Salient and stay safe!

 

BANTER OR BULLYING?

BANTER OR BULLYING?

CHARACTER BUILDING, OR CHARACTER DEMOLISHING?

How important is it for everyone to be resilient, thick-skinned, even hard-nosed?

Life can be hard.  Without one or more of these traits we run the risk of being beaten down by the more forceful and ultra-confident types.

To illustrate, let me describe an extreme version of this:

A confident go-getter enjoys ‘banter’ with their colleagues.  One colleague is a less confident and seldom joins in with the exchange of ‘winding-up’ and derisory comments.  To some, this makes them ideal targets for such banter, and the comments start.

Initially teasing, they are easily shrugged off.  But, they continue, and can develop a hint of mocking.  Others, wanting to remain with the confident and ‘favoured’ group, will find themselves joining in, sometimes without intending to.  Within a short period of time, perhaps a few weeks, one person has become the butt of most of the ‘banter’ going on.

Originators of office/school/group banter will claim it is ‘character building’.  They believe they are helping those bearing the brunt of the humour to gain a thicker-skin, to ‘man-up’.  The ‘Butt’ may well attempt to join in, but will show their inexperience in making quips and digs and will likely receive more ‘digs’ as a result.  Initial banter is usually ignored, but continued and it gradually eats away at the recipient, resulting in lost esteem and confidence.

Life is hard.  Perhaps we should encourage this form of banter to help weed-out those not capable of defending themselves and so to form stronger teams.

But, what are we doing if this continues unabated? We are making someone’s life pretty miserable.  They will see it as bullying and will find it more and more difficult to become involved, contribute, socialise and engage.

Then there is the other extreme, where we cosset and protect the weak and avoid all banter and ‘wind-ups’.  I remember when a boss I had in the mid 90’s apologised to me for swearing.  He assumed that, as I didn’t swear, it must be that it offends me.  Bless him!  Extreme swearing does offend me, but the occasional ‘Anglo-Saxon Derivative’ (as my English teacher used to say) can add richness to the language.  The reason I didn’t swear was because I had four young impressionable daughters at home and Dad swearing, even inadvertently, was not the example I wanted to give them.

There is another way.  I saw this happen once and it had a great positive impact on me.  At one stage in my career, the boss was also the chief source of the office banter.  He would rip into anyone, strong or weak and wind them up to a high level.  Most of us recognized this and responded in kind (to a lower level; we wanted to stay in good books).  There was one chap who did not take this well.  He was a really nice guy and had much to contribute to the group.  However, it was clear that he was enjoying being at work less and less.  His mood changed and his engagement with all of us was less frequent and helpful.  He was becoming isolated.  This was not the group’s intention, but none recognised it for what it was and no-one wanted to suggest to the boss that he stopped.  In the end, the boss sorted it.  He was perceptive and understood fully the risks to the team and to our colleague.  The boss took him to one side and had a chat with him.  The next thing I know, our colleague was smiling, animated and seemingly in awe of the boss!  His output increased and his loyalty knew no bounds.  He was even seen to join in with the banter occasionally.

What did the boss say?  Eventually, my colleague confided in me.

In a nutshell the boss had told him that he was sorry that such actions and comments were upsetting him.  He told him how valuable and valued he was, how he should ignore anything that offended and to regard it as immature behavior on their part.  He wanted my colleague to come to him and tell him at any time if anything was bugging or upsetting him, because he wanted him to be happy in his work and to enjoy his time.  The boss, even said he regretted the way he behaved but that it was now expected of him and he was worried that any change would be regarded as a weakness.

In showing humanity and humility, the boss had succeeded in turning round the whole situation.

Perhaps this is the best approach when such ‘banter’ risks getting out of hand; risks losing a colleague, or worst of all, demolishes someone’s self-confidence and self-esteem.

There is no easy answer.  But, taking account of people’s feelings can result in stronger teams, stronger relationships, and stronger leadership.

 

How to overcome Brexit Blues and how the Salient ‘Plan B’ showed the way forward.

It has to be said, I am sorry, but it does have to be said.

Brexit has made a difference and will make further differences to business.

Things are changing and there are more changes to come.

But, I am not one of the doom-mongers as I believe it offers us interesting and useful opportunities.  I say ‘offers’ as it is up to us whether we take those opportunities or sit back and just hope.

Whatever happens there will be change, and we need to be prepared as best we can.  But prepared for what?  I believe there are four indisputable facts:

  • Brexit will happen!
  • Markets will change
  • There will be greater focus on domestic markets
  • We will find ourselves competing with more UK companies as larger providers seek to replace off-shore business.

This is what happened to Salient in the last 18 months:

  • Five larger prospects, (£1M turnover+), were reasonably secure in my sales pipeline.
  • As the Brexit vote loomed, happened, and shocked the markets, these five companies retreated, not wishing to ‘spend money when the market was so unpredictable.’
  • My cash-flow forecast dropped considerably!
  • I initiated my contingency, my Plan B, and targeted the smaller businesses that tend to ‘get on with it’ no matter what the market is doing.
  • I had to replace one large opportunity with ten smaller ones.
  • It was successful, and I have now progressed to Plan C where I develop the new smaller company market, while attracting new larger opportunities.

But what of the larger companies?  What will they do in this Brexit uncertainty?

I believe they will do very much as I did and look to smaller domestic markets to fill the gap in their turnover.

In other words, those who rely on domestic markets for the majority of their turnover will start to find more competition from larger suppliers.

There is another side to this.  Those seeking your products or services are less likely to look off-shore for suppliers as these are likely to become more costly.  Therefore, they will actively seek domestic suppliers. It could be you, if you are ready!  Another point is that if they previously sourced from larger companies, they are likely to spend more than your present customers.

To summarise, this could mean for your business:

  • New domestic markets are likely to open up
  • Competition will increase for home-grown opportunities.
  • The new opportunities have different expectations and spending levels

Are you ready?

Is your sales team and/or your sales process the best it can be?

Your sales effort needs to be at its best; sharp; focussed; forward-thinking.

Don’t miss the boat. 

If you fail to address this, others will get there first and will win the lion’s share of the new opportunities.

If you are successful in this, your business growth could be double what you would anticipate for 2018.

If you would like to discuss your experiences of this, please be in touch; call or email Andy

Slow summer sales and the best way of filling a ‘Lull’

What does summer mean to your business?

What does THIS summer mean to your business?

Are you expecting a rush of new business to come to you?  Perhaps other businesses want to invest in you before the markets change, which will happen inevitably.

Or, are you expecting the normal summer lull to be worse than in previous years as, following ‘Brexit’, your customers are being cautious with their investments?

Perhaps you have the type of business which is not seasonal AND is resilient to change in the markets.

In most cases, businesses are expecting some form of downturn or lull in the coming months.  I believe, with careful handling, the pace of change is likely to be slow enough that the markets will not suffer greatly and businesses will become cautiously optimistic over the coming months.  I think WE MUST be optimistic of a favourable outcome.  If we are not, then we should give up now, and that approach is not for us!

So, the old adage ‘Keep Calm and Carry On’ could never be more appropriate.

In every lull there is a need to fill the ‘spare’ time or effort with profitable activities.  What better way to fill the time than by training and coaching yourselves or your team to perform significantly better?  When markets start to improve again, for whatever reason, you can then hit the ground running with new knowledge and skills that will help your business to outperform all others.

Reinforcing skills and discovering new ideas and strategies can only make a positive difference to your sales growth and build your business during difficult times.

July and August are the ideal times to improve your skills and your performance.  There will then be time to apply your new skills and boost your end-of-year figures. 

Is that not worth the investment?

Click HERE for a REAL INCENTIVE to book some training.